How do you find the time?


I write this post in a rather defensive mood after again being placed in a situation where I find myself defending my choice of lifestyle – which seems to be happening more frequently just lately.

Let me clarify something that is no one’s business. I love being busy. I love filling every spare second with being a mum, completing tasks, work, baking…. It is what makes me tick. I couldn’t sit around all day doing nothing, its not ‘me’. I love to finish every day feeling that I have achieved something. This isn’t a new thing, I’ve always been like this. Yes it probably is a little sad, but I like to clean, and I like to decorate. I even like DIY. I am extremely grateful to be healthy enough to do it all. This is not to say that I disagree with people who are the opposite. Each to their own, whatever floats your boat.

But what really pisses me off is when I hear one of the following comments:
‘You will wear yourself out if you carry on doing so much’.    No, I’m fine thank you.
‘You must be stretching yourself thin – something’s got to give soon’.     No, I’m still  fine thank you.
‘Just make sure you are spending enough time with Ruby, you don’t want to miss seeing her grow’.

Now hang on just a minute.
No one has the right to make an assumption about how much time I spend with my daughter, much less have the right to voice that assumption.

Yes, I work three days a week. Because I enjoy it. Yes, I bake cakes too. Because I enjoy it. Yes, I go running at the weekend. Because it keeps me healthy. And yes, I have a blogging site. Because I enjoy it. I am not worn out – I have switch off time just for me thank you very much. I am just lucky enough to be able to prioritise, multitask and juggle.
While I am at work Ruby is at nursery learning how to count, how to read, how to share. And while I bake my cakes, Ruby is napping, or has her own little mixing bowl and spoon at the side of me filled with her own cake mix – sharing Mummy Daughter bonding time. And when I blog? My daughter is in bed for the night.

And Hubby is fine – he isn’t neglected either. He is at work when I am. He is at work when I’m baking. The only thing he has to endure is my blogging and I personally feel he is perfectly capable of looking after himself for an hour a night. He is fed and watered. He is comfortable.  God help him, having to check his fantasy football stats or watch whatever match is on TV because his wife isn’t massaging his feet or whatever it is that I am expected to do.

So, Mr or Mrs Ass Umption. No, I’m not neglecting myself, my husband, my marriage. And im certainly not neglecting my daughter. I pack my life with things because I can – not because I have to. Staying busy does not mean I am keeping my mind from ‘something’….. (said to me in a whispered voice with a raised eyebrow…..) I keep myself busy because I am so lucky to be able to, to be healthy, to be blessed with amazing family and to be alive. I am living! This is how I choose to live!

So please rest assured that I am fine. I’m not having a breakdown, leading up to a breakdown, fighting off a breakdown. No breakdowns here. Go focus on your own family and look at positives instead of trying to create negatives that do not exist.

One thought on “How do you find the time?

  1. Well said! And I’m going to use the “Mr. and Mrs. Ass Umption.” What is wrong with people?! It’s no ones business how you spend your time. Some women are actually capable of walking and chewing gum at the same time! It sounds like jealousy and I am sorry you are dealing with this but it clearly sounds like you can handle the critics just fine.

    Liked by 1 person

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